I’ve given a lot of thought to the relationships I have with people. I have a select group of friends who, by this time, considering how long I’ve known them, know my entire life story or are revealed to it little by little every day. These are the friends I trust my life with, they are the ones who have given me the best advice and the best shoulders to lean on (: I’ve gotten to know them each one individually and to be frank, sometime they’re not good people, but most of the time they have the best intentions. Drawing from their flaws, I’ve realized my own flaws and have made use of their imperfections to improve my own. It’s not to say that they’re bad examples that I turn into good ones for myself but I’ve made it a goal to change their lives. It kind of sounds a little too over achieving and unrealistic but I’ve always been an optimist at heart, regardless of my ranting tweets and whatnot, but I feel as if they’ve done so much for me. They’ve accepted so much of me that the least I can do is re-invent their lives, no big deal. hahaha, only joking. Considering the amount of deep conversations we’ve had in the past couple of months, I’ve found that we’ve all grown and the insight that I’ve gotten from them as of lately, has been filled with a lot more honesty, more critical, but definitely never without substance. I’ve opened my life to them with a lot of things, things I would never usually confess to others. My embarrassment and burdens, secrets I’ve been keeping have been made known to their ears.
I ran into a friend they other day who said, “The friends you make in university seem much more. They’re lifelong friends and ones you want to keep forever rather than be friends with because you’re stuck with them for the next five years. In highschool, we were forced to see those people and that’s probably why a lot of those friendships have been broken.” Even my highschool history teacher told us that his best friends, the ones that are still around now, are from university and I’m so glad I have mine for support. On occasion, rather, on a daily occasion, they laugh at me and my drama. Thing is, I don’t feel weakened when they make these jokes. (If we were to be brutally honest, I was taken aback at first and hated them. But I’ve matured, a bit.) I don’t mean to say that I’m naive and just trying not to let them get the best of me, I just mean that now I have a better understanding of the overall situations. I also now know the difference between their teasing and words that that are meant to kill. I know the difference when they mean to be hurtful or when it’s just funny to be reminded of stupid things that we do. I love my friends and their idiocy sometimes, it has definitely made the growing process more fun. With all the soul-searching that’s been going on, I find my heart less heavy and my head much more full. Come summertime, I can’t wait for these talks to happen under the stars and with even more honesty. I’m hoping that in our drunken states or just because of the awesome freedom that follows with summer, that our thoughts and words will just want to pour out naturally. (It may not happen but I still can’t wait for summer and our camping trip!) All I’m really trying to say is that these friends of mine mean the world to me and I love em to death! That is all.
AG+J
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